Topher's Grace

So Long, Farewell, Auf Wiedersehen Goodbye...Chris Henry!!!

2008-04-06T17:20:00.003-04:00

Well it finally happened, my namesake with the Bengals got himself into trouble with the law again and this time he got cut! What a fricking dumbass this kid is, all of the potential in the world on the football field, but not enough sense in his little head to stay out of trouble. Apparently he didn't think that it would not cause him any type of problem to go out with his boys to a local dance club, get drunk & high in the bar and then proceed to swing from chandeliers and lift girls skirts. Then he followed it up by punching some kid in the head and throwing a beer bottle through his car window. Calling Chris Henry a moron gives morons a bad name.

Now maybe I can go back to having a decent name in this city again, because I am sure that 60 days from now no one will remember his name. That is until he moves back home and then gets locked up for armed robbery, rape or drug trafficking that is.

It always seemed that he wanted to live the Thug Life and be an O.G. , well now he has the whole rest of his life (which probably won't be long) to devote to that goal.

Now I just hope that he gets a lifetime ban from the NFL so that the Cowboys or Dolphins don't pick him up!

Too Much of This...

Not enough of this!

And the Bengals Arrest Counter is reset again, who will be next!

Why I am not Ashamed to say I like American Idol.

2008-02-12T21:00:00.000-05:00

Ok, so what would be more devastating than splitting people into two groups in a small hotel room and then telling one of the groups on camera, "Sorry...Your'e going home." The journey stops here."

Making all of those people sing induvidually onstage in front of their peers and then telling them to their face on camera "Sorry...The journey stops here, you are going home tonight." On camera.

Brilliant!

Happy F'n New Year Bitches!

2008-01-22T21:37:00.000-05:00

Been a while. A lot of shite has happened since my last post. Most signifigantly I changed jobs again. Not my choice again. Found new job, it at least pays more. That is the highest compliment I can give it right now. Those that know me best know the details, if you don't call me and I'll fill you in.

I am now the Site Manager for a Valet Parking service. At least I don't have to deal with prick lawyers and their cunty secretaries (yes I said secretary, just fucking accept it you are a secretary...suck my "administrative assistant" cock beaotch!) mostly just young rich dudes and sports celebreties.

At least I get to drive pretty nice cars. Here is the sweetest one so far, I drove a 2006 version of this Maserati Quattroporte. I think this is the only car that I have ever driven that had a speedometer that went to 200mph, and I have no doubt this car could do that.

Remember when we used to Blog...

2007-10-31T10:02:00.000-04:00

It has only been about 4 months since the last time I made a post. Not alot has happened lateley news worthy. I will however run down the list for you;

The Bengals suck again.

The Reds suck now and forever.

Transformers movie was badass. Best movie of the summer IMO.

UFC kicks ass...literally. If you like watching grown ass men beating the hell out of each other, I highly recomend it. Check out The Ultimate Fighter on Spike TV Wednesdays at 10pm.

Went to the Chicago Comic Con. Ate tons of Chicago style Pizza, bought tons of Trade Paperback comics @ half retail price or less. Bought a pretty cool Sasquatch bust. Big is gay and couldn't go, not because he is gay, in spite of the fact that he is gay.

High School Football is still my favorite brand of football. Of course it helps that my alma mater Colerain Sr. High has had a great football team for the last 17 years. Colerain just finished another 10-0 season and head to the playoffs this weekend. My little girl attended her first football game and now asks to go every week.

I still love Boobies. The bigger the better.

Heroes is cool.

Chuck is Fun.

The Office & 30 Rock make me laugh out loud every week.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is just wrong and hilarious at the same time. If you haven't watched it yet, check it out!

Work is work. Got passed for a promotion twice this past year, so now I am just hanging around waiting for my annual bonus. At least I don't have to deal with teen agers or bible thumpers all day though.

Wife and kids are good. Wifey is trying to get a job at the 911 operators desk for Hamilton County, she has spent a lot of free time volunteering there. Little E is off the hook, she called me a "dang dirty ape" the other day. The boy is becoming a Star Wars freak just like me.

Well that is all for now.

Stare at this for a while, good drug free fun!

And some Stuff n Junk!

2007-05-18T15:54:00.000-04:00

Good afternoon to all my peeps, cock smokers, rug munchers, Ho's and all those in between! Been a while since I posted, so here is a past couple of weeks update.

First of all to get it out of the way- Spiderman 3 (and by 3 I mean the bad guy count)

Since everyone has pretty much the same opinion of this movie, rather than just re-hash that noise, allow me to state the following.

3 reasons Why I liked Spiderman 3 better than you:

#1 Ron Howards daughter was hot as Gwen Stacy, as a water fairy, not so much.
As Gwen, me likey!

#2 I really liked the fight scenes with Sandman and when he becomes Sandman.

#3 Emmalou really liked it, I have never seen her sit so intensely watching a movie or anything even near as long as this movie. As we left I asked her, "Did you like Spiderman?" and she replied, "It was totally Awesome!" So maybe it helps to have the mind of a 4 year old to enjoy the movie.

Here is my big question about the movie though, Why does SpiderMan give a New York Cop a Handy in the movie? Shouldn't it be the other way around?

I also recently went to my first Rock concert in about 5 years. I went to Bogart's (a place that I have been thrown out of many times) to see one of my favorite new bands, Wolfmother. It was an excellent show, they are one of those bands that sound even better live. They played for about 2 hours, and previewed a few songs from their new album will out soon. I did of course have to yell at someone. I had a young college couple that came up and sat right behind me in the upper balcony about midway through the concert who proceeded to talk loudly and incessiantly during the songs. I put up with it for 2 1/2 songs, right up until the bimbo said loudly "I'm bored, I don't even like this kind of music!" I of course snapped and in my loudest and best imitation of Matt Foley shouted "Shuuuuuut UUUUUPPPP!!! She said "what's your problem?" To which I responded, "You wan't to know what my problem is? My problem is ABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABA!!! There are plenty of quiet places for you two to go and talk, instead of at a fricking concert." Boyfriend puffed up a little bit until I gave him the "What!" and stare down. At that point bimbo said "C'mon lets go!" to boyfriend and they left. After they left 4 people thanked me for shutting them the hell up. This incident did not however ruin a great concert, if you like this kind of music I suggest you see them if you have a chance. If you don't, then you are probably a sad little girl.

Here is another one of their videos, for their song Dimension. It is Badass!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWkd62hwocE

Well that's enough for now.

So's your face!

More Bengal Fun & other stuff

2007-03-23T11:35:00.000-04:00

Well for once a Bengal made national headlines and it wasn't drug or alchohol related! Former Steeler and current Dolphin Joey (I like to talk smack I can't back up) Porter and Bengal O-Lineman Levi Jones got into a little altercation in Las Vegas, that ended up with Porter punching Levi in the face and Levi pressing charges. Here is an eye witness description of the event.

"On Tuesday, witness Dave Benz came forward, describing the fight as something out of a "Rocky" movie.
"They were throwing down," said Benz. "They must have each gotten in a good three or four swings. Then all of a sudden, the bigger guy who I found out later was Levi Jones, picked up Joey Porter and tossed him probably 10 feet like he was a rag doll."
Benz said there was about 10 seconds where people broke the fight up, but said Porter broke loose and went after Jones again.
"Joey Porter broke free and ran full sprint at Levi Jones and dove through the air at him like he was trying to tackle Ladanian Tomlinson. Took him down with a tackle, then the two of them got up. They were throwing fists again. It sounded like a 'Rocky' movie."
Benz said Porter later kicked Jones in the head, causing some bleeding.
Benz said the whole incident started when Porter confronted Jones while he was playing poker.

Well Joey, enjoy your time with the Dolphins, at least you will be getting a fat paycheck.

I finally got a chance to see "The Inconvenient Truth" If you haven't seen it, I highly suggest you do, pretty messed up stuff. THE END IS NEAR!

I also went out to see 300 -I REALLY liked this movie, the way that they adapted the look of the comic on screen was awesome. Made me want to go out and hack people apart with swords afterwards.

I am almost embarassed to say that I am still tuning in every week to watch American Idol, although I avoid all but the last 5 minutes of the results show now, as it has become un-watchable to me. Now I am more just watching to see how many more weeks Stern Fans and www.votefortheworst.com will keep Sanjaya around! Man I wish his sister would have made it though, she is fricking HOT!

Click on the link to see those puppies Bounce!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NaiV2Ci5VUY

I have also started reading comics again and getting the bug to do creative comic stuff, I will keep my peeps posted as to what I am doing. Some of the books that I am currently reading is Wolverine, The New Avengers and some of the X titles. The new Wonder Woman series is actually pretty good too!

9 Lives of the Bengals

2007-01-22T17:43:00.000-05:00

Apparently Jonathan Joseph was celebrating the AFC & NFC championship games.

CINCINNATI (AP) - Bengals cornerback Johnathan Joseph was arrested early Monday and charged with possession of marijuana, the ninth Cincinnati player arrested in the last nine months.
The arrest came three weeks after coach Marvin Lewis promised to get tougher on player misconduct, hoping to stop a series of arrests that has embarrassed the team and drawn the attention of NFL commissioner Roger Goodell.
Joseph was arrested on U.S. Route 42 in northern Kentucky. He lives nearby in Union, Ky. The Boone Country sheriff's office arrest report said Joseph was the passenger in a vehicle driven by a woman who had a suspended license, was driving slowly and weaving.
When a Boone County sheriff's deputy asked Joseph to get out of the vehicle, he smelled marijuana. The deputy searched Joseph's black backpack with a Super Bowl logo and found a bag of marijuana in a pouch, the arrest report said.
Joseph was released Monday morning, and his first court appearance is scheduled for Feb. 5. Marijuana possession is a misdemeanor that carries a maximum of one year in jail and a maximum $500 fine.
He was the team's first-round draft pick last season and had positioned himself to take over a starting job next season.

Sweet Sweet Footbally goodness!

2007-01-22T11:37:00.000-05:00

"DA BEARS!!!
Thankfully the Bears did it, they put a whooping on the Saints, (at least they can feel good about a great season) so we will be spared the 2 weeks of Katrina promo that the Super Bowl would have been if the Saints would have made it.

I think the Bears and Colts will be a great Super Bowl, as I was also pulling for Peyton to get over the Patriots hump. Which he did in fantastic fashion last night by dropping 32 points on the vaunted Patriots D in the second half of the AFC championship game. I will pretty much be happy however the game turns out, I will be leaning towards 'Da Bears though.

Now for something completely different.

If you haven't seen this clip from Saturday Night Live, it is Hi stinking Larious! Features Justin Timberlake.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dmVU08zVpA&mode=related&search=

Also thanks to all that attended my Birfday Bash Saturday night, (wish you could have been there BDC!) Good Times! I was in pretty bad shape all day Sunday, too much drinky!

More Bengals Fun!

2007-01-18T11:05:00.000-05:00

Well I guess this is how bad it has gotten. ESPN now has a online game where you have to match the Bengal to the Crime! Yeah, that's just great.

Enjoy!

You know what...Fuck the New Orleans Saints. Go Bears!

2007-01-18T10:45:00.000-05:00

I don't know about anyone else, but I am already tired of so many sports writers and shows talking about how the Saints are the new "America's Team" and how great it would be for the city of New Orleans if the Saints were to win the SuperBowl. Now I do think it is a travesty what happened in New Orleans with the Hurricane and how the Bush administration and FEMA handled the whole disaster, but being a Bears fan, I hope 'Da' Bears kick the crap out of the Saints in Chicago this weekend. I mean lets get real here, did anyone think that the Saints were going to be good at all this season? Let it go, they had a great year, and everyone is happy for them and the city of New Orleans. I also agree with BDC that if New Orleans makes it to the SuperBowl, and the refs call the game against the Bears like they did last season with the Stealers in the SuperBowl, there is a definate conspiracy working in the NFL. Now if New Orleans goes to Chicago and just whips there ass, I won't be happy, but I can live with it, I just don't want to see another incident of the refs just giving the game away.

Go Bears!!!

Bengals Christmas Carol - Marvin's Reindeer

2006-12-22T13:46:00.000-05:00

It's funny because it's true. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good shut the hell up!

Can you say Eight? Sure, sure you can!

2006-12-15T16:37:00.000-05:00

Well the Bengals arrest count is now up to eight. Deltha O'Neal adds his name to the list of the arrested, he was pulled over and charged with a DUI on Saturday. It has gotten so bad that the new NFL Commissioner, Roger Goodsell has got involved. It would have been interesting to hear the call that he made to Mike Brown about the antics of his team and the black eye they are giving the NFL.

Somehow, I bet Nancy Zimpher is blaming this all on Bob Huggins.

Real Men of Genius. Mister get drunk at a cheap bar and drive man! Deltha ONeal, This Buds for you!

7th Bengals Player Arrested. Who Dey!

2006-12-04T10:55:00.000-05:00

Just when I thought my Bengals Arrest Counter might top 2 full months, Reggie McNeal takes the counter back to zero. This bonehead decided it would be a good idea to start fighting with police because he wasn't allowed in a bar that was closing. This is the same idiot that was in the vehicle with Chris Henry and Odell Thurman when Odell got pulled over for drunk driving a few months ago. Apparently he learned nothing from that event. The ironic thing is that after the win vs. Baltimore on Thursday night, Coach Lewis told the team that they would have Friday and Saturday off, but that he didn't want to read about someone getting arrested on Sunday. So much for that.

Personally I think McNeal is a perfect candidate to make an example out of, cut his ass right now, then hold a press conference stating that this type of off-field behavior will no longer be tolerated by the Bengals organization. Probably won't happen, but it should.

Maybe they will throw the book at him in Houston where he was arrested and sentance him to jail time for assaulting a police officer.

Night, night Reggie...keep your butthole tight.

Everything is Gay. So corny it's funny.

2006-10-20T15:55:00.000-04:00

Cool Stuff I miss from my childhood Part II

2006-10-13T10:26:00.000-04:00

Another thing I miss is the old 3 hour block of the Bug Bunny & Road Runner Show. If I remember right it started at 8am and went until 11am. I can remember sitting with my Dad on Saturday morning and watching this before and after breakfast. Those cartoons were classics, and still funny today. I hope that the DVD realeases of these cartoons will come out uncut, like they were when I was a kid. Other than my father, I think that this is where my sense of humor comes from, and probably why I still love goofy slapstick comedy.
What an amazing voice talent Mel Blanc was.

Cool Stuff I miss from my Childhood Part 1

2006-10-05T11:12:00.000-04:00

Although some will claim that I have never grown up, I am going to post a few things that I miss from my childhood. The first one really never has gone away, but I can remember being very excited to see new episodes of this great show. I can honestly say that there have only been two times in my life that I have cried over the death of a celebrity. The first was Elvis and the second was Jim Henson. I am looking forward to purchasing the Muppet Show DVD's and re-living them with Emmalou, she already enjoys The Muppets in Space movie.

Select Intro #1 and click play for one of my all time favorites!

http://www.retrojunk.com/details_theme.php?main_id=356&theme_id=222&play=y

The Rampaging Colbert!

2006-10-04T11:01:00.000-04:00

Here is a pretty cool piece of Joe Quesada art that he did for Stephen Colbert of the "Colbert Report". If you haven't seen the "Report" (pronounced repore)I highly reccomend it. It follows the Daily Show on Comedy Central at 11pm. It is where I get all of my national news!

Ear Candy for Metal Heads Like Me

2006-09-29T11:07:00.001-04:00

I Give You WOLFMOTHER with one of my favorites from their new album "Joker and the Thief" Before anyone says anything about them negative, I really don't care if you like it or not. Me Likey! The video also features the "Jackass" Crew.
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Who Dey Indeed!!!

2006-09-25T09:11:00.000-04:00

Cincinnati Bengals 28 Pittsburgh Steelers 20! Man is it nice to post that score on here. What an incredible game, very exciting back and forth game that wasn't decided until the very end. It makes the win even more sweeter considering that the win came on Steelers turf and we did it to them they way they used to beat us, with points off of turnovers. I am liking the Bengals chances at starting out 4-0 with New England coming up next.

On the flip side of all of the good things that happened to the Bengals yesterday, yet another Bengal was arrested early Monday morning. Odell Thurman, who is serving a four game drug suspension right now, was busted at a DUI Checkpoint and was found to be driving while under the influence. Apparently he blew a .17 on the breathalyzer which is more than double the legal limit. I heard that Chris Henry was among 3 other Bengals in the vehicle with Odell. I think that we are at the point that the Bengals should force certain players on the team to hire handlers that will follow them in every thing they do, to keep them out of trouble. For fucks sake, hire a freaking driver if you are planning on getting hammered! I just don't get it. At some point, Bengals management is going to have to make an example of one of these guys to make a statement.

So the Bengals counter is back to Zero, they almost made it two full months.

Sweet, Sweet Football Goodness!!!

2006-09-22T10:48:00.000-04:00

Man I love this time of the year! Football season is in full effect y'all! Bengals ar 2-0, Chicago Bears are 2-0, Ohio State is 3-0, Michigan kicked the crap out of Notre Dame and my Mighty Colerain Cardinals are 4-0 and ranked #1 in Cincinnati and #23 in the USA Today National High School Poll!

I attended a huge High School Football event last weekend, The Ohio vs. USA Challenge put together by Kirk Herbstriet (Ohio St., Centerville HS, and ESPN) It pitted 9 Ohio teams against top teams from 8 other states. Ohio won 4 out of 9 games (and should have won 6 out of 9) including a 28-0 shellacking by the Colerain Cardinals over Cardinal O'Hara from Pennsylvania. I think it is an amazing accomplishment for Ohio to win 4 games against the best that other states had to offer. I got to see teams that I have heard about since I was in High School play live, such as Concord De LaSalle from Cali (5 national Championships, 152 game winning streak) who demolished a good Elder team 56-32. I saw 6 high school games in 2 days.

Colerain is rolling again this year, they have beaten their opponents by a combined total of 190-14 so far this season. The starting Defense has not allowed a single point to be scored against them, and have shut out their last 3 opponents. The D is super fast, they hit hard and tackle very well. The offense has added a new dimension this year also, the forward pass! They still run the Triple Option, and still have about a 4-1 run to pass ratio, but it is nice to see that teams can no longer cheat up on them and put 8 or 9 men in the box to try and stop the run, if they do that against them this year the QB pops up and passes right over their head. It is a beautiful thing to watch. Tonight Colerain takes on the undefeated Lakota West Firebirds (who beat Moeller in game 1) at Lakota West. Huge Division rivalry, the winner of this game will probably end up GMC champ.

Colerain's #1 in Ohio prospect Eugene Clifford verbally committed to Ohio State last night. That will make the 3rd Cardinal in two years to go to Ohio State. Here is a link to the article about Eugene from the Enquirer.
http://news.enquirer.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2006309210015

Now for the Bengals. IT IS STEELERS WEEK!!! REVENGE TIME! We must beat those God Damn Mutha Fuka's!!! Although Big Ben is a Ohio boy, I think that I will still have to hope to see Big Sam Adams sack the living hell out of him this week. I would also love to see the game open up with a repeat of the pass play that Palmer was injured on in the playoff game last year. A bomb pass to my namesake Chris Henry, that goes for a TD this year!

Here is a video that shows one of the many reasons why the Bengals need to kick the shit out of the "Stealers" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zeQEjaoAma8

If you haven't figured it out yet...I love me some football!!!

Stay Sexy!
Topher Out.

Who Wants to be a Superhero?

2006-08-18T09:26:00.000-04:00

If you haven't caught it yet, I highly recommend that you tune in and watch an episode of "Stan Lee's Who wants to be a Superhero" It is so bad, it is a must see. It is so obviously scripted, and so incredibly cheesy, if you were ever a comic fan check it out. Last nights episode had me laughing my ass off because it was so ridiculous. Their challenge was to go and do various things while talking to supposed hardened murderous criminals. (Both were actors that I have seen in commercials and bit parts before) The four wanna be superheroes had to decide who would do the following things; Rub a convicts shoulder 3 times, Hug a convict 3 times, sit on a convicts lap and something else 3 times. The actor/convicts played that they were hard sociopaths and threatened them when they tried to touch them, but of course allowed them. The best was when Feedback got the actor/convict to tell him that his father was killed, Feedback said that his father committed suicide (probably after seeing his adult son dress up like a superhero) he then managed to start crying and give the massive actor/convict 3 very awkward looking hugs. The best was yet to come, as during the elimination all of the wanna be superheros cried when Stan said that he was proud of them. The best though was Feedback again, he started bawling and told Stan that he considered him to be the father that raised him when his real father died. Well actually he said Stan and Spiderman got him thru that.

One of the other funny things that happened on one of the previous episodes was when Stan asked them all to nominate someone to be eliminated. All but two of the superheros nominated themselves, and what made it funny was the fact that you could tell that the ones that nominated themselves really just wanted to leave. They all had that "Please get me out of here" look on their faces.

Part of the reward for being the winning superhero is that they will get their own comic book and Sci Fi channel special. Should be another train wreck.

"Big" Movie Weekend

2006-08-11T11:00:00.000-04:00

I spent a few days at Big's house this past week. Thanks to him I was able to see quite a few movies over a two day span. Here they are with my thoughts.

Talladega Nights: Ballad of Ricky Bobby

At first I thought, well since I am not a fan of Nascar racing I probably won't like this movie. I was wrong. This was a very funny movie! Actually probably funnier to me because I don't like Nascar. Not only did it poke fun at Nascar drivers and fans, but it also poked fun at Christians. As most of you know that know me, that is one of my favorite past times also. I watched this in a theater by myself (thanks Big!) and found myself laughing out loud many times during the movie.

5 out of 5 stars on the goofy comedy meter

"Dear 8 lb. 1 oz. infant baby Jesus" "Daddy you made that grace your bitch!"

Monster House in 3D!

I have to give this movie a 5 out of 5 rating also. This was my first experience with the new digital 3D, and if you have the opportunity to see this that way I would highly suggest it. At first I thought that it would be like the old style 3d, with bad color and silly things that come out to grab you, but it was not that. It just looks like you are looking through a window to another world. Sounds corny, but that is just what I thought. Anyway the movie was excellent, very reminiscant of the Goonies and Stand by Me. Very well done. Go see it.

Cabin Fever: Not at all what I expected. I pretty much wrote this off as a cheesy slasher movie, that is not what it is. It does have a few elements of those type of movies but it also had a smart twist and interesting situations. (and nice boobies) It was real good. See it if you haven't. Rating 4 out of 5 Stars*

Waiting: Has its moments. And beaver. Good Rental 3 out of 5 Stars*

Really Messed up Asian Horror Flick Volume II: Can't remember the real name. The only positive is that it featured Bai Ling other than that this movie sucked. Two words: infant cannabalism -1 Stars out of 5 Stars*

I also now a fan of Da' Ali G Show Very funny stuff. I especially like the Borat character. Good news is, a Borat movie is coming soon.http://http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sacha_Baron_Cohen

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borat

http://www.boratonline.co.uk/

Big also introduced me to sodomy and http://www.hbo.com/larrydavid/ Curb your Enthusiasm

Big loaned me season one on DVD. If you were a fan of Seinfeld, you will like this series. Even if you didn't watch it.

Enough of that shit. Now for something completely different. If you haven't heard Comedy Central is doing a roast of William Shatner . http://www.comedycentral.com/shows/roast_shatner/index.jhtml

One of the things that should make this good was just announced on Stern 101. George Takei will be one of the Roastees. He stated, " I have waited more than thirty years to have the opportunity to roast him" It will be interesting to see how that goes! He recently stated on the Stern show that Bill pinched him in the ass on the set of the original series while making fun of him about being gay.

I'm out my Peeps! Keep it real...hard.

Church Sign

2006-08-11T10:51:00.000-04:00

Here is an interesting Church sign I saw on the way home from Indianapolis this past week.

Cathlocism Wow!

Big is that you?

2006-08-02T08:28:00.000-04:00

I was checking out some of C.F. Payne's work online last night, he has been doing a illustration for Reader's Digest every month. At some point he must have seen Big Jim doing stand up.

If you look at the crowd it looks as though Chris put himself in the illustration. Apparently he must think Jim is funny.

I think he is funny too, not funny HA Ha though. Funny queer.

The Cincinnati Bengals Arrest Counter

2006-07-27T14:09:00.000-04:00

Thanks to BDC for sending me a link for an automatic counter! So the Bengals arrest counter is now a permanent fixture on my blog.

Who Dey, Who Dey, Who Dey, Think Gonna Incarcerate Dem Bengals!

My take on Superman Returns

2006-07-21T10:20:00.000-04:00

Well I went out last night and caught a late show of Superman Returns. Here is my list of good and bad things from the movie. If you haven't seen it yet this may have some spoilers, but the movie has been out long enough so to hell with you if you haven't seen it yet.

Stuff That I Liked:
#1: Superman was Super, he was shown to be as powerful as he is in the comics. It always bothered me in the previous incarnations of Supes (movies) when he would struggle to pick up a car. He's freaking Superman, he can move a planet!
#2: Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor. Great job as LL, more evil than he has ever been portrayed on film before.
#3: John Williams score. I agree with Creamer on this one, I got all goo when the opening music started.
#4: Airplane sequence. Probably my favorite part of the movie.
#5: Scenes of Superman flying, best looking and most realistic looking ever.
#6: "Didn't there used to be two of them?"

Stuff I Didn't Like:
#1: Too much Lois Lane and she looked way too young.
#2: SuperBastard Baby- I kept waiting for the kid to have a different expression on his face, talk, do something and quit being such a wimp. Supermans kid has asthma, and is allergic to all types of food?
#3: Nasty, walking skeleton, skanky Parker Posey. I think that if I was Lex Luthor I would have a hotter girlfriend than her. One with tits, not the chest of a 10 year old boy. And why didn't Lex push that bitch out of the helicopter when she dumped the crystals?
#4: Anti-Climatic ending.
#5: Soooo...a Kryptonite land mass doesn't affect Superman if he picks it up from the bottom?
#6: Perry White and Jimmy Olsen- were they in the movie? Easily forgotten characters in this movie.

Overall I would give it a 3 out of 5 stars.

Of course the big question that I had the entire movie was...Didn't Phoenix kill Cyclops in X III?

What the hell have I been doing?

2006-07-07T15:19:00.000-04:00

What the hell have I been doing? Well, I took vacation last week, didn't go anywhere but spent some quality family time. Took the Henry Clan to the Zoo, it was Emmalou's first time their. We all had a pretty good time. Emmalou especially loved the Giraffee, she kept saying she wanted to go back and see Melman.

On Tuesday we bought Jen a brand new used car. It is a 1999 Potiac GrandAm, it looks pretty much exactly like this one but it is purple. Plum to be more exact. It is pretty pimped out too. We were unfortunately forced to find another car because after dropping about $2500 into the Jeep Cherokee, it still isn't running right. So I will probably end up taking the the Jeep out somewhere and setting it on fire.

I still haven't went to go see Superman yet, will hopefully do so soon. I have to admit that I am more looking forward to Clerks II than Superman though.

I will be watching the UFC pay per view tomorrow, the Ultimate Fighter reality show got me interested in the UFC again. Saturday nights show will feature 2 big grudge matches. Tito Ortiz vs. Ken Shamrock and Tim Sylvia vs. Andre Arlovski. Both matches should be pretty awesome. If you haven't checked out UFC you should.

Gotta go, suck it bitches.

Vader calls Emporer video...Funny Stuff!

2006-06-14T14:20:00.000-04:00

Here is a link for a pretty funny video. It is Darth Vader calling the Emporer to let him know that the Death Star has been destroyed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JBn9Nh9r-0Y&eurl=

Suck it Stillers!

2006-06-13T11:22:00.000-04:00

Here is a picture of the car that Big Ben Rothlisberger ran into.

Deal A Death Meal

2006-06-01T08:41:00.000-04:00

On my way in to work this morning I saw something that I felt that I needed to make my peeps aware of, if they weren't already.

Taco Bell has found a way to market their locations extended summer hours. What a great idea it is, are you ready...The 4th Meal! Yes that's right, no longer are we to be tied to a mere three meals a day! Taco Bell has saved us with the fourth meal.

I believe the actual add for it read "Taco Bell invites you to come in for the 4th meal, the one between dinner and breakfast!" I know personally that nothing helps me sleep better than a "Big Beef and Potato Burrito" at 1:00 am in the morning. I can taste the Grade D beef, fake sour cream and tater tots now! This just might top KFC's Bowl Meals.

This gives me an idea. I defy anyone to attempt the following "Deal a Death Meal" challenge. This meal plan would make the movie "Supersize Me" look like a sensible diet plan.

Here goes;

Breakfast: 2 McGriddles (1 bacon 1 sausage for variety) sandwiches with Tater Tots

Lunch: KFC Bowl, Honey BBQ Wings and Large Coke

Dinner: Burger King Texas Double Whopper, 6 Chicken Tenders, Large Fries, Large Coke

4th Meal: Big Beef and Potato Burrito, Double Decker Taco, Nachos Supreme, Cinnamon Twists and Large Coke.

I used a calorie calculator to get the total calories for this day of feasting, here is a link to it if you would like to check out your favorite fast food items.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/flash/health/caloriecounter/caloriecounter.html

The Grand Total for the entire day comes to 7,693 Calories and 365 grams of Fat!

So who is going to step up to the challenge!? You can doooo Eeeet!

Big Fun in the City

2006-05-23T09:59:00.000-04:00

Well after waiting for two years to see the big movie adaption of "The DaVinci Code" I have to say that I was somewhat disappointed. The movie seemed very rushed, lacked suspense and I wasn't very fond of Tom Hanks as the lead character. Not to sound cliche', but the book was much better. Although "Angels and Demons" was my favorite Dan Brown book, and had just as much controversial material as the Code. The fricking Pope is murdered in Angels and Demons, but I guess that doesn't bother as many people as Jesus being married and having a child with Mary Magdalene. Silly Catholics. I would give the movie 3 out of 5 stars.

Here is a trailer to the next summer blockbuster film the sequel to "Titanic" I will be first in line for this one! http://www.metacafe.com/watch/109522/titanic_the_sequel/

Speaking of silly Catholics, Parish Festival time in Cincinnati is upon us. Saint Anne's Church is having their festival this weekend. You know, that's when they have pedophile carny's come in and set up their ultra dangerous ancient carnival rides, then sell massive amounts of beer and set up gambling booths for Jesus. I think I might go protest it this weekend. At least now the Colerain township police block people from parking in our neighborhood, prior to doing that there were always kids vandalizing people's houses and cars and drunks roaming the streets. Good old Catholic fun!!! I just have to come up with some snappy signs to carry in protest, maybe; BEER + GAMBLING+ CARNY'S = CATHOLICISM WOW! or maybe REMEMBER KIDS THE POPE SAYS NO TO SAFE SEX!

My Wife has a sweet pussy, his name is Gary the Cat. Here is a picture of him, he is such a bad kitty!
I think he was taking aim at Schultz, luckily for the Uber Hunden the rifle was not loaded.

Quote of the week:

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood. ~George Carlin

I had to steal this pic from the Ama-zone. I love this kid, he just looks so happy!

That's all for now bitches.

I Like Bush, but Hate our President

2006-05-16T09:37:00.000-04:00

Bush Salutes the average American.

I avoided listening to more bullshit from our President last night, but here is what I know from the highlights. Bush intends on using 5000 National Guard members to patrol our borders to Mexico (am I the only one surprised that there are any National Guard left?) If you break it down to three shifts, that means there will be one Guard for every 1/2 mile. Not sure how that will work. I guess it is better than what we have now.

Saturday Night Live had a pretty good joke about Bush's approval rating this past week. During the News section, Tina Fey said "The presidents approval rating dropped to a record low of three dollars per gallon".

Here are some funny pics of our Great President.

Reds Layeth the smacketh down!!!

2006-05-05T14:46:00.000-04:00

In a surprising move the Cincinnati Reds acquired World Wrestling Entertainment wrestler, Rey Mysterio Jr. As a free agent pitcher. The Topher News team interviewed Reds Manager, Jerry Narron about the move. Transcript follows:

TGN: Jerry, tell us about the signing of Rey Mysterio, a wrestler, as the newest addition to the pitching staff.

JN: Well I have always been a fan of the WWE, and more specifically a fan of the Lucha Libre wrestlers. Rey Mysterio, Super Crazy, the Guerrero family and many other great Hispanic wrestlers are such incredible athletes, I couldn't pass on the chance to sign one of these guys.

TGN: How do you see Rey contributing to the team?

JN: Well, I feel signing him addresses two major needs of this team. By comparison to the big market teams, we are sorely lacking in players of Hispanic heritage. If you look at the roster of teams like the Yankees or Dodgers, they have upwards of 70% Hispanic players. The Reds roster is currently at 40%, I think it will make us more competitive in the current Hispanic dominated sport. The other need that Rey will fill for us is the "Closer" or "Finisher" role if you will, on the pitching staff. Have you seen Rey's finishing move, the 619? It is a devastating finishing move. I think this will make him an incredible finisher for the team.

TGN: I'm not sure I see the connection between a wrestling finishing move and a closing pitcher.

JN: Well trust me there is a connection.

TGN: Like maybe a Pan-Am Connection?

JN: I don't get it.

TGN: Nevermind. What other plans do you have to make the team more competitive?

JN: Well the team's percentage of Asian players is also very low, since we let Danny Graves go it is now at 0%, that needs to be addressed also. All of the large market teams have token Asian players, and we don't want to be behind the curve on that aspect of the game.

TGN: Dare I ask, what is your plan for that?

JN: I have been talking to Funaki and Taka Michinoku about joining the team. I think they could increase our depth in the infield, they have great speed and range. It would add a new slant to our team.

TGN: Was that a racist comment?

JN: Which one?

TGN: Nevermind. Hey thanks for talking to us today Jerry and good luck to the team the rest of the way.

JN: Fuck you Queer.

TGN: What?

JN: Nevermind.

Here are photos from Rey Mysterio's first game with the Reds.

A tip of the cap from Rey. Rey blasts the Gapper with the belt, Gapper later died from major head trauma. Later in the game, Rich Aurilia hits a game winning 2 run home run. As he crosses 3rd base, coach Mark Berry has the common God Damned decency to give him a reach around.

Thanks Reds Fans! OH HO HO HO.

My New Favorite Song!

2006-05-03T14:58:00.000-04:00

Thanks Ama-Zone! This is a link to my new favoritest song ever! I am totally serial! Killer.

http://www.transbuddha.com/mediaHolder.php?id=23

Emmalou asked me recently "Do you want the hose?" I don't know where she would have got such a thing. Maybe from "It eats it's dinner or it gets the hose!"

How you doin'?

Cincinnati Sports...Not as Sucky as before.

2006-05-02T14:36:00.000-04:00

Dude? Dude! Dude?! Duuude...

It still may be too early too tell, but the Cincinnati Reds seem like they may actually be pretty good. They are leading the league in home runs, and on base percentage. When they get decent pitching, they can beat anyone it seems. It is looking like the trade of Willy Mo Pena for Bronson Arroyo, was quite a coup for the Reds. Bronson is now 5-0, he was lights out on Monday night. He pitched a complete game two hitter. Me likey Bronson. On a side note, my lovely wife still doesn't care. No Casey = No care.

Now for the Bengals. Draft day went pretty good. It was very nice to go into a draft, and be able to draft for the future. The Bengals have no real pressing needs. The one position that they were looking to upgrade for this season was addressed with a free agent signing of tight end Ryan Hamby of Ohio State and Moeller High School fame. Good hands, but not so fast.

The Bengals also apparently signed one of the Wild Samoans of WWE fame. I wouldn't say he is fat, brother is Samoan. What the fuck you gonna do?

Snoogans!

Quote of the Day: Jim Bakker spells him name with two k's because three would be too obvious. ~Bill Maher

No more Diamond Dave

2006-04-26T08:45:00.000-04:00

Well terrestrial radio took another hit recently. Diamond David Lee Roth was unceremoniously fired from his morning radio show this past Friday. Apparently it was done in typical rat like CBS Radio fashion. Dave had just finished interviewing a guest and went to break, but the show never came back. They just started playing music. They came in during the break and fired Dave then escorted him out of the building.

Dave was interviewed by the Howard 100 News on his way out, and he stated that he will be contacting Howard and Sirius radio about the possibility of taking his show to Sirius. Who knows, maybe given the freedom of creating his own show, it could be entertaining. If not I guess he will go back to being an Emergency Medical Technician. Wouldn't it be weird to be picked up and put into an ambulance by Diamond Dave?

Of course what he should do, is go to Eddie Van Halen and beg him to take him back as lead singer, then tour as the original band. I would go see them.

So who will replace Dave? Who the fuck cares. But in case you haven't heard it is Opie and Anthony. The same guys that CBS Radio fired a couple of years back for having a couple have sex in a church on air. They are huge Stern wannabees, my guess is they will be fined and off the air again within a year.

I think what would have been sweet is if instead of Dopie and Antney, they replace Diamond Dave with the Red Rocker himself, Sammy Hagar. I don't care who you are, that would be funny.

Yorgin Fiorgin! Mucher Puchers!

2006-04-21T09:01:00.000-04:00

The Superman vs. Shazam illustration is by Bruce Timm I thought it was pretty sweet.

It's Friday. I don't know about everyone else, but to me, Jesus doesn't have to die for a Friday to be a Good Friday. They are all good. Especially now that I am not working weekends anymore, if you don't have a Monday thru Friday 8-5 job I highly recommend it.

NFL Draft day is coming up Saturday April 29th. Being the football geek I am looking forward to it. Wonny and I will be heading to Rick's Tavern to watch it on the big screens with many other Bengals fans. Drink a few and have some good bar food. Good Times!

Shock the Puss!

I always mean what I say, but I don't always say what I mean.

One of the lawyers in the firm where I work called down to the service center and asked that we send someone up to his office to cut open boxes of files for him the other day. He said that he only wanted to spend 30 minutes or less reviewing these files so he didn't have time to waste opening the boxes. So I sent the smallest woman on my staff up to his office armed with a box cutter, she sliced open the boxes and came back. He wasn't in his office when she did it, so when he came back, he looked at the boxes and called back down to me and said "when are you going to send someone to my office to open these boxes!?" I responded, "Did you try to open one?" he replied "Uhh...no." At that point he sat the phone down and I am assuming he walked over and checked the boxes. The next sound I heard was the phone receiver being hung up. They can be such dicks, but this job is still better than having to deal with the general public.

South Park was pretty good last night. Oprah Winfreys pussy shot a cop and then held her studio audience as hostages. Her asshole was shot and killed by a sniper rifle, and then her puss shot itself. It was all a rip on her about the "scandal" with her book club. Catch it if you can.

The

The Power of Christ Compels You!!!

2006-04-17T10:38:00.000-04:00

Pick Pickler!
Thanks Easter Bunny! Bock, bock! We were visited by the holy rodent yesterday, Emmalou made out like a bandit. I think she probably ate about 6 lbs. of chocolate yesterday. I recieved a nice dark chocolate bunny, because I like my chocolate, like I like my women. Bitter. For some reason Jenny didn't get an Easter basket though. I guess she was bad. I must spank her.

Here's some news that should piss you off. If it doesn't you are a GD idiot.

American Deaths in Iraq

Since war began (3/19/03):
2373
Since "Mission Accomplished" (5/1/03)
2236

So 2236 American armed forces and civilians have been killed since Dubya announced "Mission Accomplished" What a fricking jerkoff. I still have that image of him flying onto the carrier, stepping out of the jet with that stupid grin on his face, and then making the announcement, to the cheers of clueless navy personell on the ship. I doubt that they would cheer him now. I sure the hell wouldn't.

I found a interesting picture of Kellie Pickler of American Idol fame. This apparently was her prom picture. I guarantee you that Emmalou won't leave the house in a dress like this, and I will be cleaning my rifle when her date picks her up. Pickler sure is a hottie though. I am also convinced that she has most everyone duped with her dumb hick girl act.

Cool Stuff Part One

2006-04-14T08:40:00.000-04:00

This is a sample of Andrew Bawidamann's art. Very cool stuff I think. This might be my next tattoo.

Suck my Blog

2006-04-11T09:19:00.000-04:00

Well it looks as though the Reds might not be as bad as they looked in game one. If their pitchers can hold a team to under 6 runs they have a pretty good chance at winning games. I still will be surprised if they win more games than last season. Sean Casey just does not look right in a Pittsburgh Pirates uni. I am not sure though when we will go to another game as Jenny is still protesting the Reds for trading Casey. We might go the next time the Pirates are in town. Here's the big question though, why did the Reds just pick up another infielder? We now have five. Meanwhile Ryan Freel is being forced to split time with these guys and he is tearing the place up, leading the league in steals. If we can just keep him off of the booze this year.

Bengals have made some good moves this off season. Sam Adams should make a big impact on the D Line. Now if we could just get Arrington also.

It is April and I am already looking forward to Colerain High School Football. They are playing in their second Ohio vs. Usa Challenge game. This year against a team from Pennsylvania, Cardinal O'Hara. Here is a link to the site http://www.ohiovsusa.com/ the games are being put together by Kirk Herbstreit. Colerain played a team from Texas last year (Tyler Lee, 2004 state champ in Texas) and spanked their bad ass. Some of the best teams in the USA are playing in these games against some of Ohio's best. High School football still continues to be my favorite brand of football, followed closely by the NFL. Of course it helps that Colerain has been very good the last 10 years.

Enough about sports. Looks like we may be adding a kitty to our household. Jenny has wanted one for quite a while and I think we may go ahead and get one, Emmalou really seems to like cats so it will be her kitty. Hopefully it doesn't totally wreck my allergies. I am sure that Schultz will be ready for a game of "Get the Kitty".

Why are Marines still getting killed every day in Iraq? Two days ago a Marine that was a graduate of Milford High School was killed and yesterday the 22nd member of the armed forces from Cincinnati was killed. It is re-goddamn-diculous that we are still there, and people are dying every day for no good reason. F you Dubya, F you right in your fake Christian brown eye!

Damn I need some more coffee.

Quote of the Day:

Every time you see a beautiful woman, just remember, somebody got tired of her.
~Kinky Friedman

Rants in my pants.

2006-04-04T09:41:00.000-04:00

Rant #1:
I read an article in Newsweek magazine that had a poll stating that people that consider themselves to be Christians are "Happier" than people that describe themselves as non believers. Questions were how happy are you in your job, love life, and in general. In all catagories the Christians rated themselves as happier than non believers. At first I thought, I wonder why this is? Then it came to me, and set me free.

Ignorance is Bliss.

Rant #2:
The Reds Suck. They will be lucky to win 60 games this year. Dunn should be at First Base, Freel should be made a permanent outfielder. Our pitching staff is terrible, we don't have a closer or anyone that would be considered a #1 pitcher on any of the top 10 teams in either league.
The Bengals and Reds continue to look more and more like teams going in opposite directions.

Rant #3:
George W. Bush~ Will the country ever recover from his reign of terror. Oops I mean term in office. Is there any doubt that he is the worst President that we have ever had? This fucking senseless war in Iraq looks like it will never end. More troops die every day for no reason. Why haven't we found Osama? How does Saudi Arabian terrorists flying planes into the World Trade Center equal war in Iraq? Is anyone but me concerned that Iran is building nuclear weapons? Iran is holding war games right now that they titled "Holy Prophet" and the wargame will begin with the password "Muhammad the Messenger of Allah," what the mother fuck? When will they begin actually worshipping the bombs? So when we go to war with Iran, will we even have any troops left.

There I guess I feel a little better.

Quote of the day:

Born again?! No, i'm not. Excuse me for getting it right the first time.

~Dennis Miller

Solution to the Cleveland Indians Mascot Problem.

2006-03-28T12:21:00.000-05:00

Here is a link to a pretty funny video with a solution to the Cleveland Indians mascot controversy.

Check it out.
http://www.shipbrook.com/jeff/ChiefWahoo/

South Park In the Closet episode.

2006-03-24T10:16:00.000-05:00

This link will allow you to see the entire Scientology/Tom Cruise spoof "In the Closet" from South Park. Be advised that it is a broadband link, so if you are using dial up, it probably will not work very well.

http://www.xenutv.com/southpark-closet.wmv

If you are interested in more information about just how F'ed up the Church of Scientology is, check out this website.

http://www.xenu.net/

If you check the site out, make sure you read the "Xenu Leaflet" it describes the secret beliefs of the Church of Scientology. What a great science fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard was. I think that he probably is the record holder for duping more stupid people worldwide with his religion scam.

People that are dumb enough to fall for this bullshit, deserve everything that happens to them with this "Church".

I am going to work on founding my own religion, it is highly profitable!

I do also have my own funny story involving Scientologists. While I was a manager at Starbucks in downtown Cincinnati, one of our regular customers was the Manager/Director of the Cincinnati branch of Scientology. I will refer to her as Diane. Now Diane would come into my store at least two times a day for her own special made drink. She was a total pain in the ass. Her office was about 3 blocks from my store and when she came in she would always request a double tall, extra hot, add whip cream latte. The drink itself isn't by Starbucks standards a difficult drink. What made it difficult and what made her such a pain in the ass to deal with is the fact that, she would take her 180 degree drink that was topped with whipped cream and walk back to her Scientology center and if by the time she got there the whipped cream had melted, she would come back and complain, then demand that it be redone.
We attempted many times to explain to her that when you put whipped cream on top of a 180 degree liquid, with a lid on top and then take a five minute walk back to your office before opening it, the freaking whipped cream will melt. Apparently her Thetan level was not high enough for her to grasp this simple concept.

So one afternoon Diane had come in for the third time in one day to get her "Diane Special" as she liked us to call it. On this particular day we had been getting our asses kicked, there was a convention in town and we had a line out the door from 7 am until 11 am. We were two people short on the shift and no one on the shift including myself had gotten any type break at all. So needless to say everyone was a little on edge. Each time that Diane came in, she brought the drink back to be re-done. On her third return trip, she came up to the counter to complain. At first I apologized too her for the problems. I began to explain our circumstances of the day, but she wasn't interested at all. She responded, "Look, I spend enough money here that everyone that works here should know how to make my drink right. I shouldn't have to keep coming back and telling someone how to make my drink!" I then attempted to explain the basic physics of how whipped cream melts when subjected to heat. She cut me off again and said "I don't care about that!" I then paused and said "I'm sorry Diane, I will make sure that your drink is made correctly this time." I then went to the bar to make the drink myself, and as required by Starbucks, I decided to make some small talk with her while she was anxiously waiting at the bar for her drink. I looked her in the eyes and smiled, then said "So Diane, how is the cult business going?"
She nearly flipped. She yelled at me and said, "Scientology is not a cult, it is a religion!" I responded, "I'm sorry Diane, I must have heard wrong." She then asked who my district manager was, I gave her his name and she stormed out.
From that moment on she would not let me wait on her. It was sweet. I transferred out to a different store not long after that. She still comes in to that store for her "Diane Special" now Jenny gets to deal with her.

I have been thinking about printing off a bunch of the anti-Scientology literature listed on the xenu.net site and handing them out in front of her office. Who's with me?

South Park Season 10 Premiere...Chef Returns!

2006-03-23T11:53:00.000-05:00

If you are aware of the flack created by South Parks slam on Scientology episode titled "Trapped in the Closet" you know that this was what caused Isaac Hayes to quit the show.

Last nights Season 10 premiere episode was titled "The Return of Chef", the episode will be aired again tonight (Thursday 23rd, March) at 10:00 pm. If you missed it check it out, it is Hilarious! Below is a report from E News about the episode. It does a good job of describing key points in the episode, including the excellent eulogy by Kyle at the end of the show.

"South Park" Roasts Chef, Literally Joal Ryan Mar 23, 2006, 8:15 AM PT E Entertainment News.
Trey Parker and Matt Stone have buried the hatchet with--sorry, into--Isaac Hayes.
On Wednesday's South Park 10th season premiere, Hayes' Chef character was struck by lightning, impaled, shot, mauled by a mountain lion, eaten by a grizzly bear, and, oh, yes, accused of being a child molester.

The episode was the capper to Hayes' Mar. 13 resignation. South Park chieftains Parker and Stone cranked out the inaptly named "The Return of Chef!" as an answer to the defection.
In an off-screen twist, doubt has been cast as to whether Hayes really meant to depart the animated series. FoxNews.com columnist Roger Friedman reported Monday that the 63-year-old "Shaft" soul great suffered a stroke on Jan. 17, and "is in no condition to quit anything."
"My sources say that someone quit [the show] for him," Friedman wrote.
Previous reports had Hayes hospitalized on Jan. 17 in Memphis for what was said to be exhaustion. The reputed stroke diagnosis was said to be news to Comedy Central.
In his headline-making, episode-inspiring statement, Hayes, a Scientologist, said he could no longer support a show that disrespected religion. The move was widely seen as a response to a Scientology-specific South Park episode that first aired last November. (A rerun of the show, "Trapped in the Closet," was abruptly pulled from Comedy Central's schedule last week. Tom Cruise, a Scientologist, and a "Closet" parody target, denied flexing his superstar muscle to keep the episode off the air.)
Thanks to some manipulation of old sound bites ("suck on my chocolate salty balls") and songs snippets ("make love..."), Hayes was heard in Wednesday's opener. But Parker and Stone got in the last words.

And for the record, not one of Parker and Stone's words was "Scientology."
In the completely made-up story, Chef is "brainwashed" by an organization of child molesters called the "Super Adventure Club." In order to cure Chef, Kyle, Stan, Cartman and Kenny take their friend to a psychiatrist, a frowned-upon profession among Scientologists.
In the end, Chef dies a million Kenny deaths, only to live on, sort of, as a Darth Vader version of himself.
At his funeral, Kyle urges South Park residents to remember Chef as he was, before the brainwashing. If there is to be anger, he says, don't direct it at the beloved cafeteria worker.
Rather, says Kyle, "we should be mad at the fruity little club for scrambling his brain."

Brilliant. That is how I can best describe the episode. If Scientologists weren't already pissed off enough because of the "Closet" episode, this one should throw them in a full blown tizzy!

Matt Stone and Trey Parker are now more than ever, my heroes!

Why I Love Sirius Satellite Radio

2006-03-16T09:35:00.000-05:00

Another thing that really gets my Irish up is censorship. Goes right along with all of my anti-Christian right beliefs. That is the main reason that right now, there are very few things that I enjoy more than my Sirius Satellite Radio. I purchased one off of Ebay in November of 2005, I didn't activate it until late December. Like millions of others I originally purchased it for Howard Stern. Howard 100 and Howard 101 launched on January 9th of this year. I have not listened to terrestrial radio since that date. It is well worth the $12.95 per month that I pay for it. When I have the money I will probably go and purchase a lifetime subscription. It is that good. I cannot see myself ever going back to listening to old fashioned lame ass radio, that is filled with 20 minutes of commercials every hour and have play lists of 20 - 30 songs. I do not miss any of the old style radio. Prior to Sirius I would flip back and forth between Stern and Bob & Tom in the mornings on the way to work. I have only attempted to listen to Bob & Tom once since January, it was just the same old crap. They are so censored now they cant do anything anymore that is even slightly edgey, for fear of the mighty FCC fining the crap out of them.

The Stern show has been outstanding, they really are re-defining talk radio. I would also recomend that if you do have Sirius try listening to Bubba the Love Sponge (howard 101). His show is very good. He reminds me of a younger, edgier more redneck version of Stern. He has a good group of induviduals on his show. One of the funniest characters on his show is Ned. He is a old redneck, vile coot, who by the way puts together some of the funniest phony phone calls and song parodies that I have ever heard. The only negative thing that I will say about his show is that he does slip into Nascar talk a little too much for my taste. When he gets started on Nascar I will typically switch to Raw Dog (channel 104) in the afternoon and listen to Jim Breuer's show. It is typically very funny also. He has comics and heavy metal gods on there all the time. Last week on the way home I was listening to his show and they were doing Heavy Metal Karaoke, it was fricking awesome. He had the drummer from Twisted Sister and a guitarist from Anthrax along with some of his buddies and people would come in a sing their favorite metal tunes with the live band playing them. Artie Lang came in and did a couple of AC/DC tunes and one of the chicks from Buzzsaw (channel 19) came in and did Motorhead's Ace of Spades. Good stuff.

My favorite channels are;
Howard 100 & 101 ~Stern Show & Bubba
Raw Dog 104 ~ Comedy Clips, Breuer Unleashed, Wiseguys show
Octane 20 ~ New Rock
Buzzsaw 19 ~ Classic Metal and Rock
Hair Nation 23 ~ Hair Band Rock

Well that is enough advertising for Sirius. Seacrest out!

Why St. Patrick is a Bastard!

2006-03-14T10:21:00.000-05:00

For those that don't know, I am vehemently anti-Christian. To be more specific, I really hate all forms or organized religion. I feel that the only true evil in the world is organized religion. All of the greatest wars and massacres that have ever happened throughout history happened because of religion. In my opinion the two types of religion that are the worst about forcing their beliefs on others is Catholicism and Muslim. Although the Muslim religion has been getting the majority of the negative press lately, many more people have been killed by Catholics than Muslims throughout history. Anyway back to my topic. Why St. Patrick is a Bastard! Most likely you might have heard the story about how St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland. Well the thing is, there never were snakes in Ireland, it is a cold wet climate island. What the story is actually referring to is that St. Patrick drove the Druids out of Ireland. The Catholic church made it illegal for anyone in ancient Ireland to pratice their native religion, which was a form of Druid/Wiccan belief in a Earth Mother Goddess, and the male God the Green Man or Man of the Woods (also sometimes depicted as the Horned God, because he had Elk like antlers) St. Patrick burned every written text of original Celtic traditional religion. They then also used likenesses of the horned god and made him the Devil. Of course the Catholic church also would not stand for anyone worshipping a female god, and made out anyone that did to be a heretic, that would be burned at the stake. Catholocism adopted nearly all of the holidays of the ancient Celts into their own holidays, they just re-named them. That is what they did to get the Celts to adopt the new religion, well that and burning and killing them. So that is why I do not celebrate St. Patricks day. He is a destroyer of history and a murderer of innocent and peaceful people.

Chris Henry continues to soil my name!

2006-03-14T10:08:00.000-05:00

My first post on here was about my surprise when I heard that the Bengals drafted Chris Henry. Since his drafting he has continued to screw up and soil my name. First he gets busted driving without a license or insurance, and he had pot on him. Then just a few weeks later he gets arrested in Miami for pulling a gun and threatening some people on the street. Of course the gun was not registered, and even better he was wearing his Bengals jersey. What a fuck up! Maybe someone should let him sit down and talk to the former Miami Dolphins running back the "Cecil the Deisel" who is in jail for doing stupid shit and will lose the best time of his life locked up. Maybe that will drive the point home. I think that Henry has to be on his last chance with the NFL, one more stupid mistake and the Bengals will cut him, and he will be lucky if anyone picks him up. THat is if he doesn't end up in jail.

Funny side note to his first arrest. At the firm that I work there are two receptionists, one of them picked up the paper and read the headline in the sports page that talked about Henry being busted. She reads it and says to the other "I can't believe that Chris Henry, he gets pulled over, doesn't have a license or insurance and has marijuana on him. What an idiot!" The other says "what when did this happen?! I didn't hear anything about it? Is IKON going to fire him? The first receptionist then says "No Chris Henry from the Bengals!" Not ours! Guess which one was blonde?

Christianity. The New way to rebel against your Parents!

2005-06-28T19:27:00.000-04:00

Man I really am beginning to hate middle America. I hate Christians even more, and it just seems like every day there are more and more of them. With their smiling faces and their "Jesus Loves You" Even the ones that don't try to force their religon down your throat, feel sorry for you. The next one that says to me "I will pray for you" is getting punched in the face, and the better fricking turn the other cheek. But I digress, the real meaning behind this post my friends is the fact that I have come to a realization, this generation of kids have chosen Christianity as the new way to rebel against their parents. Case in point, the growing population of 18-26 year olds that are now Christians, we recently had a Young Christians Conference here in Cincinnati and there was something like 30,000 people there. Where I work I am the minority, out of the 14 people that I have that work for me, 8 of them are card carrying christians, they go to church 2-3 times a week and go on missions all over the world, they never want to work Sunday, and you have to watch every little thing that you say around them. The 18-26 year olds of today have parents that were liberal and believed in free speech, and probably voted democrat, their kids have become mindless fucking sheep, they are super conservative, don't like anything that is different from them and vote republican, worst of all they will stand up and defend a fricking moron like GW Bush. This generation will be the one that eventually abolishes everyone's rights to free speech, freedom of religon and freedom to do what you want in your own home, whether it be watching a little porn, or using sex toys with your wife, they will make everything that they consider to be morally wrong go away. You will not be able to watch or listen to what you want, everything will become vanilla. The thing that bothers me most about the "christians" of today is they go to these new churches that are less formal, which is ok, because who really wants to listen to some guy that has never been laid talk about sin? what bothers me is that they are such hypocrites. they go to church, and preach about Jesus to anyone that will stop for 2 seconds to listen to them, but yet they smoke, drink, cuss and have sex. Not that I am against that stuff, but if you are gonna be christian do the whole thing and worry about yourself and not everybody else. Trust me, if I wanted to talk to someone about WWJD I would seek out people to do that with. You fucking mother fuckers, leave me alone and let me do what I want, ever hear "Do what thou wilt, if it harm none"? If this is what our world is becoming, bring on the Antichrist and armageddon. At least I will have fun on the way out. I once had a friend that would go and pray when he got horny, what the fuck is that, when I get horny I jerk off and afterwards I can focus on all kinds of things, if you supress your desires with prayer, that shit builds up and you end up hurting someone. The worst serial killers all considered themselves good christians, coincidence, I think not. Suck on that.

I Got Drafted!

2005-04-24T15:46:00.000-04:00

I'm not exactly how this happened but apparently I was drafted by the Cincinnati Bengals in the third round of the NFL draft yesterday. It's strange because I didn't even officially declare myself as elidgible for the draft. I had thought that my 40 yard dash time (28 Seconds) and my height and weight might have been a problem, but apparently not.

First of all I would just like to thank my Lord and savior, Jesus H. Christ, in Him all things are possible, I'd like to thank my family that has always supported me, I'd also like to thank the staff of the Bengals for taking a chance on me, even though I never played High School or College Football. I'm just looking forward to getting on the field and showing what I can do. Who Dey!

4-23-05, 7:45 p.m.BY GEOFF HOBSON With the draft's two top centers gone, the Bengals opted for a potential running mate for Pro Bowl wide receiver Chad Johnson when they selected fleet West Virginia wide receiver Chris Henry Saturday night in the third round with a pick they think can make quarterback Carson Palmer's deep ball even more dangerous. The first day of the draft and not always the first round has been a fertile ground for Cincinnati's best receivers, including Johnson himself in 2001, and two Pro Bow receivers of the previous two decades with Carl Pickens in 1992 and Cris Collinsworth in 1981. All went in the second round. The pick could have an impact on first-round receiver Peter Warrick after he played just four games last season because of injuries and is looking at a big $2.2 million price tag in the final season of his deal. Some reports say Henry is a raw player who came out a year early and may need time to adjust to the pros. Still, the 5-7, 235-pounder also has the size and speed that can translate into a game-breaker, and the Bengals are excited about what he can do opposite another burner like Johnson. He averaged nearly 25 yards per catch (yes, 24.5) for the Mountaineers in 2003 and caught 12 touchdowns last season The Bengals have invested a lot of research in Henry and look to be satisfied with some questions surrounding him. Henry didn't play football in 2002, got thrown out of a game last season because of two unsportsmanlike penalties, and got benched for a half in another for violating team rules, according to Mel Kiper Jr.'s Draft Report. ESPN's Kiper says: "If he proves to be coachable and totally focused on the job at hand, there is no questioning the fact that Henry has awesome skills necessary to get the job done in a big way at the pro level." Ourlads Scouting Services says: "One year-starter, but was productive as a sophomore. Big target. Vertical receiver who picks up speed as he goes down the field. . .Raw skills that will need a lot of work."