South Park In the Closet episode.
This link will allow you to see the entire Scientology/Tom Cruise spoof "In the Closet" from South Park. Be advised that it is a broadband link, so if you are using dial up, it probably will not work very well.
http://www.xenutv.com/southpark-closet.wmv
If you are interested in more information about just how F'ed up the Church of Scientology is, check out this website.
http://www.xenu.net/
If you check the site out, make sure you read the "Xenu Leaflet" it describes the secret beliefs of the Church of Scientology. What a great science fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard was. I think that he probably is the record holder for duping more stupid people worldwide with his religion scam.
People that are dumb enough to fall for this bullshit, deserve everything that happens to them with this "Church".
I am going to work on founding my own religion, it is highly profitable!
I do also have my own funny story involving Scientologists. While I was a manager at Starbucks in downtown Cincinnati, one of our regular customers was the Manager/Director of the Cincinnati branch of Scientology. I will refer to her as Diane. Now Diane would come into my store at least two times a day for her own special made drink. She was a total pain in the ass. Her office was about 3 blocks from my store and when she came in she would always request a double tall, extra hot, add whip cream latte. The drink itself isn't by Starbucks standards a difficult drink. What made it difficult and what made her such a pain in the ass to deal with is the fact that, she would take her 180 degree drink that was topped with whipped cream and walk back to her Scientology center and if by the time she got there the whipped cream had melted, she would come back and complain, then demand that it be redone.
We attempted many times to explain to her that when you put whipped cream on top of a 180 degree liquid, with a lid on top and then take a five minute walk back to your office before opening it, the freaking whipped cream will melt. Apparently her Thetan level was not high enough for her to grasp this simple concept.
So one afternoon Diane had come in for the third time in one day to get her "Diane Special" as she liked us to call it. On this particular day we had been getting our asses kicked, there was a convention in town and we had a line out the door from 7 am until 11 am. We were two people short on the shift and no one on the shift including myself had gotten any type break at all. So needless to say everyone was a little on edge. Each time that Diane came in, she brought the drink back to be re-done. On her third return trip, she came up to the counter to complain. At first I apologized too her for the problems. I began to explain our circumstances of the day, but she wasn't interested at all. She responded, "Look, I spend enough money here that everyone that works here should know how to make my drink right. I shouldn't have to keep coming back and telling someone how to make my drink!" I then attempted to explain the basic physics of how whipped cream melts when subjected to heat. She cut me off again and said "I don't care about that!" I then paused and said "I'm sorry Diane, I will make sure that your drink is made correctly this time." I then went to the bar to make the drink myself, and as required by Starbucks, I decided to make some small talk with her while she was anxiously waiting at the bar for her drink. I looked her in the eyes and smiled, then said "So Diane, how is the cult business going?"
She nearly flipped. She yelled at me and said, "Scientology is not a cult, it is a religion!" I responded, "I'm sorry Diane, I must have heard wrong." She then asked who my district manager was, I gave her his name and she stormed out.
From that moment on she would not let me wait on her. It was sweet. I transferred out to a different store not long after that. She still comes in to that store for her "Diane Special" now Jenny gets to deal with her.
I have been thinking about printing off a bunch of the anti-Scientology literature listed on the xenu.net site and handing them out in front of her office. Who's with me?
http://www.xenutv.com/southpark-closet.wmv
If you are interested in more information about just how F'ed up the Church of Scientology is, check out this website.
http://www.xenu.net/
If you check the site out, make sure you read the "Xenu Leaflet" it describes the secret beliefs of the Church of Scientology. What a great science fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard was. I think that he probably is the record holder for duping more stupid people worldwide with his religion scam.
People that are dumb enough to fall for this bullshit, deserve everything that happens to them with this "Church".
I am going to work on founding my own religion, it is highly profitable!
I do also have my own funny story involving Scientologists. While I was a manager at Starbucks in downtown Cincinnati, one of our regular customers was the Manager/Director of the Cincinnati branch of Scientology. I will refer to her as Diane. Now Diane would come into my store at least two times a day for her own special made drink. She was a total pain in the ass. Her office was about 3 blocks from my store and when she came in she would always request a double tall, extra hot, add whip cream latte. The drink itself isn't by Starbucks standards a difficult drink. What made it difficult and what made her such a pain in the ass to deal with is the fact that, she would take her 180 degree drink that was topped with whipped cream and walk back to her Scientology center and if by the time she got there the whipped cream had melted, she would come back and complain, then demand that it be redone.
We attempted many times to explain to her that when you put whipped cream on top of a 180 degree liquid, with a lid on top and then take a five minute walk back to your office before opening it, the freaking whipped cream will melt. Apparently her Thetan level was not high enough for her to grasp this simple concept.
So one afternoon Diane had come in for the third time in one day to get her "Diane Special" as she liked us to call it. On this particular day we had been getting our asses kicked, there was a convention in town and we had a line out the door from 7 am until 11 am. We were two people short on the shift and no one on the shift including myself had gotten any type break at all. So needless to say everyone was a little on edge. Each time that Diane came in, she brought the drink back to be re-done. On her third return trip, she came up to the counter to complain. At first I apologized too her for the problems. I began to explain our circumstances of the day, but she wasn't interested at all. She responded, "Look, I spend enough money here that everyone that works here should know how to make my drink right. I shouldn't have to keep coming back and telling someone how to make my drink!" I then attempted to explain the basic physics of how whipped cream melts when subjected to heat. She cut me off again and said "I don't care about that!" I then paused and said "I'm sorry Diane, I will make sure that your drink is made correctly this time." I then went to the bar to make the drink myself, and as required by Starbucks, I decided to make some small talk with her while she was anxiously waiting at the bar for her drink. I looked her in the eyes and smiled, then said "So Diane, how is the cult business going?"
She nearly flipped. She yelled at me and said, "Scientology is not a cult, it is a religion!" I responded, "I'm sorry Diane, I must have heard wrong." She then asked who my district manager was, I gave her his name and she stormed out.
From that moment on she would not let me wait on her. It was sweet. I transferred out to a different store not long after that. She still comes in to that store for her "Diane Special" now Jenny gets to deal with her.
I have been thinking about printing off a bunch of the anti-Scientology literature listed on the xenu.net site and handing them out in front of her office. Who's with me?
posted by C. W. Henry @ 10:16 AM
4 Comments:
At 12:55 PM,
BDC said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
At 12:56 PM,
BDC said…
I would suggest setting up a TV outside their building and screening "Battlefield Earth" on a constant loop with the proclamation: "From the mind of L. Ron Hubbard..."
Here's a funny link on the subject: http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a4_134.html
At 3:42 PM,
C. W. Henry said…
That is a good idea! I am all for people believing what they want, as long as they leave me the hell alone. But seriously how can anyone fall for that nonsense?
At 5:07 PM,
BDC said…
I think its the same conditions that lure people into most off-shoot religions/cults: addiction, circumstance, depression, familial breakdown, loneliness, and so on. They fill a void in the person's life, offer companionship and support in exchange for their financial contribution to the "church."
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