Reds Layeth the smacketh down!!!

In a surprising move the Cincinnati Reds acquired World Wrestling Entertainment wrestler, Rey Mysterio Jr. As a free agent pitcher. The Topher News team interviewed Reds Manager, Jerry Narron about the move. Transcript follows:

TGN: Jerry, tell us about the signing of Rey Mysterio, a wrestler, as the newest addition to the pitching staff.

JN: Well I have always been a fan of the WWE, and more specifically a fan of the Lucha Libre wrestlers. Rey Mysterio, Super Crazy, the Guerrero family and many other great Hispanic wrestlers are such incredible athletes, I couldn't pass on the chance to sign one of these guys.

TGN: How do you see Rey contributing to the team?

JN: Well, I feel signing him addresses two major needs of this team. By comparison to the big market teams, we are sorely lacking in players of Hispanic heritage. If you look at the roster of teams like the Yankees or Dodgers, they have upwards of 70% Hispanic players. The Reds roster is currently at 40%, I think it will make us more competitive in the current Hispanic dominated sport. The other need that Rey will fill for us is the "Closer" or "Finisher" role if you will, on the pitching staff. Have you seen Rey's finishing move, the 619? It is a devastating finishing move. I think this will make him an incredible finisher for the team.

TGN: I'm not sure I see the connection between a wrestling finishing move and a closing pitcher.

JN: Well trust me there is a connection.

TGN: Like maybe a Pan-Am Connection?

JN: I don't get it.

TGN: Nevermind. What other plans do you have to make the team more competitive?

JN: Well the team's percentage of Asian players is also very low, since we let Danny Graves go it is now at 0%, that needs to be addressed also. All of the large market teams have token Asian players, and we don't want to be behind the curve on that aspect of the game.

TGN: Dare I ask, what is your plan for that?

JN: I have been talking to Funaki and Taka Michinoku about joining the team. I think they could increase our depth in the infield, they have great speed and range. It would add a new slant to our team.

TGN: Was that a racist comment?

JN: Which one?

TGN: Nevermind. Hey thanks for talking to us today Jerry and good luck to the team the rest of the way.

JN: Fuck you Queer.

TGN: What?

JN: Nevermind.

Here are photos from Rey Mysterio's first game with the Reds.

A tip of the cap from Rey. Rey blasts the Gapper with the belt, Gapper later died from major head trauma. Later in the game, Rich Aurilia hits a game winning 2 run home run. As he crosses 3rd base, coach Mark Berry has the common God Damned decency to give him a reach around.

Thanks Reds Fans! OH HO HO HO.