Big Fun in the City

Well after waiting for two years to see the big movie adaption of "The DaVinci Code" I have to say that I was somewhat disappointed. The movie seemed very rushed, lacked suspense and I wasn't very fond of Tom Hanks as the lead character. Not to sound cliche', but the book was much better. Although "Angels and Demons" was my favorite Dan Brown book, and had just as much controversial material as the Code. The fricking Pope is murdered in Angels and Demons, but I guess that doesn't bother as many people as Jesus being married and having a child with Mary Magdalene. Silly Catholics. I would give the movie 3 out of 5 stars.

Here is a trailer to the next summer blockbuster film the sequel to "Titanic" I will be first in line for this one! http://www.metacafe.com/watch/109522/titanic_the_sequel/

Speaking of silly Catholics, Parish Festival time in Cincinnati is upon us. Saint Anne's Church is having their festival this weekend. You know, that's when they have pedophile carny's come in and set up their ultra dangerous ancient carnival rides, then sell massive amounts of beer and set up gambling booths for Jesus. I think I might go protest it this weekend. At least now the Colerain township police block people from parking in our neighborhood, prior to doing that there were always kids vandalizing people's houses and cars and drunks roaming the streets. Good old Catholic fun!!! I just have to come up with some snappy signs to carry in protest, maybe; BEER + GAMBLING+ CARNY'S = CATHOLICISM WOW! or maybe REMEMBER KIDS THE POPE SAYS NO TO SAFE SEX!

My Wife has a sweet pussy, his name is Gary the Cat. Here is a picture of him, he is such a bad kitty!
I think he was taking aim at Schultz, luckily for the Uber Hunden the rifle was not loaded.


Quote of the week:

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood. ~George Carlin


I had to steal this pic from the Ama-zone. I love this kid, he just looks so happy!

That's all for now bitches.

I Like Bush, but Hate our President

Bush Salutes the average American.

I avoided listening to more bullshit from our President last night, but here is what I know from the highlights. Bush intends on using 5000 National Guard members to patrol our borders to Mexico (am I the only one surprised that there are any National Guard left?) If you break it down to three shifts, that means there will be one Guard for every 1/2 mile. Not sure how that will work. I guess it is better than what we have now.

Saturday Night Live had a pretty good joke about Bush's approval rating this past week. During the News section, Tina Fey said "The presidents approval rating dropped to a record low of three dollars per gallon".

Here are some funny pics of our Great President.

Reds Layeth the smacketh down!!!

In a surprising move the Cincinnati Reds acquired World Wrestling Entertainment wrestler, Rey Mysterio Jr. As a free agent pitcher. The Topher News team interviewed Reds Manager, Jerry Narron about the move. Transcript follows:

TGN: Jerry, tell us about the signing of Rey Mysterio, a wrestler, as the newest addition to the pitching staff.

JN: Well I have always been a fan of the WWE, and more specifically a fan of the Lucha Libre wrestlers. Rey Mysterio, Super Crazy, the Guerrero family and many other great Hispanic wrestlers are such incredible athletes, I couldn't pass on the chance to sign one of these guys.

TGN: How do you see Rey contributing to the team?

JN: Well, I feel signing him addresses two major needs of this team. By comparison to the big market teams, we are sorely lacking in players of Hispanic heritage. If you look at the roster of teams like the Yankees or Dodgers, they have upwards of 70% Hispanic players. The Reds roster is currently at 40%, I think it will make us more competitive in the current Hispanic dominated sport. The other need that Rey will fill for us is the "Closer" or "Finisher" role if you will, on the pitching staff. Have you seen Rey's finishing move, the 619? It is a devastating finishing move. I think this will make him an incredible finisher for the team.

TGN: I'm not sure I see the connection between a wrestling finishing move and a closing pitcher.

JN: Well trust me there is a connection.

TGN: Like maybe a Pan-Am Connection?

JN: I don't get it.

TGN: Nevermind. What other plans do you have to make the team more competitive?

JN: Well the team's percentage of Asian players is also very low, since we let Danny Graves go it is now at 0%, that needs to be addressed also. All of the large market teams have token Asian players, and we don't want to be behind the curve on that aspect of the game.

TGN: Dare I ask, what is your plan for that?

JN: I have been talking to Funaki and Taka Michinoku about joining the team. I think they could increase our depth in the infield, they have great speed and range. It would add a new slant to our team.

TGN: Was that a racist comment?

JN: Which one?

TGN: Nevermind. Hey thanks for talking to us today Jerry and good luck to the team the rest of the way.

JN: Fuck you Queer.

TGN: What?

JN: Nevermind.

Here are photos from Rey Mysterio's first game with the Reds.

A tip of the cap from Rey. Rey blasts the Gapper with the belt, Gapper later died from major head trauma. Later in the game, Rich Aurilia hits a game winning 2 run home run. As he crosses 3rd base, coach Mark Berry has the common God Damned decency to give him a reach around.

Thanks Reds Fans! OH HO HO HO.

My New Favorite Song!

Thanks Ama-Zone! This is a link to my new favoritest song ever! I am totally serial! Killer.

http://www.transbuddha.com/mediaHolder.php?id=23

Emmalou asked me recently "Do you want the hose?" I don't know where she would have got such a thing. Maybe from "It eats it's dinner or it gets the hose!"



How you doin'?

Cincinnati Sports...Not as Sucky as before.

Dude? Dude! Dude?! Duuude...

It still may be too early too tell, but the Cincinnati Reds seem like they may actually be pretty good. They are leading the league in home runs, and on base percentage. When they get decent pitching, they can beat anyone it seems. It is looking like the trade of Willy Mo Pena for Bronson Arroyo, was quite a coup for the Reds. Bronson is now 5-0, he was lights out on Monday night. He pitched a complete game two hitter. Me likey Bronson. On a side note, my lovely wife still doesn't care. No Casey = No care.



Now for the Bengals. Draft day went pretty good. It was very nice to go into a draft, and be able to draft for the future. The Bengals have no real pressing needs. The one position that they were looking to upgrade for this season was addressed with a free agent signing of tight end Ryan Hamby of Ohio State and Moeller High School fame. Good hands, but not so fast.

The Bengals also apparently signed one of the Wild Samoans of WWE fame. I wouldn't say he is fat, brother is Samoan. What the fuck you gonna do?

Snoogans!

Quote of the Day: Jim Bakker spells him name with two k's because three would be too obvious. ~Bill Maher